Love is our Only Measuring Stick
(By Gloria Copeland)
Some people think love is so basic, it’s something only spiritual beginners must study. They consider the gifts of the Spirit—like tongues and interpretation, the gifts of healings and miracles—as more relevant to the mature believer. But as wonderful as the gifts of the Spirit are, the Bible teaches that it’s the fruit of the spirit—“love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23)—that indicate a person is walking in the spirit and not the flesh.
If you want to know whether you’re a spiritual person or not, look to see if you are walking in love. You simply can’t walk in the spirit or be a spiritual person without being ruled by love. No wonder the Bible tells us to “Eagerly pursue and seek to acquire [this] love [make it your aim, your great quest]” (1 Corinthians 14:1, The Amplified Bible).
Recognize and Retire the False Self. It is an Imposter and Illusion
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” – 1 John 1:8
Love Bonds vs Fear Bonds
“Life brings each of us inescapable traumas that block maturity. God’s redemptive activity comes to us in two ways: He brings healing to our traumas, and adopts us into His family. Both ways boosts us through out blocks to maturity, along the way to wholeness. With these boosts we will be able to live from the hearts He gave us, our true identities will emerge, and our relationships with family and community will be characterized by joy.”- The Essentials of Christian Living…
Love Bonds
- Based on love and characterized by truth, closeness, intimacy, joy, peace, perserverance and authentic giving.
- Bond is desire driven. (I bond with you because I want to be with you.)
- Love bonds grow stronger both when we move closer and when we move farther away. (When we move closer, I get to know you better. When we move father away, I am still blessed by the memory of you.)
- We can share both positive and negative feelings. The bond is strengthened by this truthful sharing
Embracing Our Insignificant Dots
What happens when you figuratively wrap your arms around those parts of you that feel small, weak, worthless, broken, and rejected? God’s healing sentence begins where our story of self-incrimination ends.
His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Internalizing compassion and acceptance goes a long way to integrating the good/bad split. What was once insignificant in the light of God’s eyes becomes quite significant and valuable.
Joy Strength + Joy Mountain
Joy strength is developed as an actual brain structure through loving relationships. Joyful bonds create our identity, our ability to act like ourselves in distress, and our capacity to face pain. Joy strength both sets and limits our capacity to handle trauma. We can build joy strength throughout our lives if we know how.
The Bonding Process (Allan Schore)
Senses and Brain Development (Myelination of sensory regions)
- 0-6 Weeks – taste, smell and temperature
- 6-12 Weeks – touch
- 3-12 Months – visual
- 12-24 Months – voice tone
Joy (excitement) and bonding–someone is glad to be with me
- Right hemisphere to right hemisphere communication
- Matched brain chemistry
- Matched brain structure growth
- Authentic, rapid (six per second), non-verbal communication
Deeper Wisdom of Parables
Why did Jesus speak in parables? Why couldn’t He have just said what He meant?
In Matthew 13, the disciples asked this same question of Jesus in verse 10. He answered, “The knowledge of the secrets of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. This is why I speak to them in parables, ‘Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand’” (Mat. 13:11,13).
Primary and Disowned Self
(from voicedialogue.com)
Understanding Relationships: Attraction and Bonding Patterns
We all conduct our relationships with other people using our personality. Our personality, however, is made up of various parts, which can be called sub-personalities or selves. So when we relate with others there are quite a few different selves involved in our relationships. This is why relationships are never simple or easy. It is rather like there are two families or two groups relating, and not just two people.
This is why sometimes we feel caring towards our partner and at other times we want to be cared for; it is why sometimes we admire a quality in our partner tremendously and at other times we see that same quality as a fault; and why sometimes something our partner does amuses us and at other times that same action irritates us.
Find Self then Give it Away
Many will try to give of themselves when they do not have enough of a self to give. This often leads to feelings of resentment and bitterness. Often people give with strings attached, hoping to get in return.
Jesus sacrifice was so huge because he had a full self to give away. One’s “yes” means nothing if they are unable to say “no”. Similarly if one does not do the hard work to define their “self”, they will be offering parts of themselves they do not fully “own”.
Streams of Growth
Streams flow and are always moving from higher ground to lower ground and back again.
Heart Restoration
“somehow we have overlooked the fact this treasured called the heart can also be broken, has been broken, and now lies in pieces down under the surface. When it comes to habits we cannot quit or patterns we cannot stop, anger that flies out of nowhere, fears we cannot overcome, or weaknesses we hate to admit–much of what troubles us comes out of the broken places in our hearts crying out for relief.
Jesus speaks as if we are all brokenhearted. We would do well to trust His perspective on this.”
― John Eldredge, Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive
“A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal.”